


The Wager for a Soul

by White_Phoenix (Motevia)



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Aziraphale Has a Vulva (Good Omens), Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Bets & Wagers, Crowley Has A Vulva (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), F/F, F/M, Ineffable Wives | Female Aziraphale/Female Crowley (Good Omens), Kissing, Lesbian Sex, Neck Kissing, Oral Sex, Public Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:47:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27547828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Motevia/pseuds/White_Phoenix
Summary: Aziraphale and Crowley have been doing their jobs a little too well (or not, if you asked Death). So which side gets to claim Seamus O'Connor's soul? A little wager should help them figure it out!
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Original Male Character, Crowley/Original Male Character, Original Male Character/Original Female Character
Kudos: 19





	The Wager for a Soul

**Author's Note:**

> This piece is based on an adult comic I found written by Neil Gaiman in the late 90s called "The Innkeeper's Soul" in the comic "Cherry Deluxe". It's absolutely hilarious. Just Google it and you'll find it to read for free. With some encouragement from the Facebook group "Is this Good Omens? No? Too bad, it is now" I decided to make the angel and demon our beloved Aziraphale and Crowley and this was born. I'd like to give a special shoutout to that group. You perverts are all wonderful and I hope you enjoy. It was rather fun to write.

### 1230 A.D.

It was a rather stormy evening in a quiet village on the moors of Ireland and an angel and a demon were bored out of their minds. For you see, both had been sent there to this little village by their head offices of Heaven and Hell to secure this village for their respective sides. Why Heaven had such a desire to secure this one measly village, Aziraphale had no idea. The thing was that simply nothing ever happened here. This wasn’t like King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table or any other epic quest that would bring a large number of souls to the good side. It was just a bunch of simple farmers living very simple, ordinary lives. Aziraphale had been living among them now for several years, helping with the spring births of sheep and healing the ill come autumn and winter. Most of the people were pleasant enough, but it was so… dreadfully... boring!

This village didn’t see many travelers, either, so business at the local inn was rather slow. Aziraphale had done what she could over the years to help the innkeeper and his family, but she couldn’t do too much without looking suspicious. She had hoped that when Crowley had also come to town that things would get more exciting. In some ways it did. Aziraphale now had a drinking partner on long nights such as these. They often made little wagers and games out of the goings-on amongst the village. Which lad would Roisin marry now that she was of age? Could Crowley convince Patrick to steal one of his neighbor’s sheep? How many lambs would Sean’s flock give birth to this year? These people weren’t particularly righteous like what you might find in the larger towns with the rather large Catholic churches. However, they weren’t particularly big on sin, either (much to Crowley’s frustrations). Which is why the angel and demon were bundled close together at the inn making bets on raindrops trailing down the window. 

“No, no, no, no! C’mon! Don’t turn! Noooooo! Ugh.” 

“Yes! I win again, my dear!” 

“I call bullshit, Angel. I still say you used a miracle the last 4 times,” complained the demon. 

“I did no such thing, dear girl! You’re just a sore loser,” sniffed the angel in indignation. She couldn’t completely hide her little smirk at having won yet again. She did so enjoy seeing Crowley get riled up in their little games. The demon’s nose would pinch in agitation and the red hue to her cheeks would make her lovely freckles stand out more. Of course the angel could never voice such things. They were on opposite sides, after all. There was simply no use in letting her thoughts go down that road. At least… not until she was alone in her own cottage, anyway. 

“Ladies, I’m locking up for the night,” called out the old innkeeper. 

“Oh!” exclaimed Aziraphale, “Yes, of course!” The two ladies brought their empty tankards to the counter for the innkeeper to wash up. “Please do give Eimear my love and let her know that I shall see her on Tuesday for our embroidery lesson.” 

The innkeeper grunted his assent as he gathered up what little dirty dishes there were, and the angel and demon made their way out into the rain. Despite their miraculous attempts to keep the rain from drenching them, Aziraphale and Crowley were soaked to the bone by the time they reached Aziraphale’s tiny cottage on the outskirts of the village. Their simple wool gowns were completely wet and Aziraphale was distracted for a moment by how the fabric clung to the demon’s breasts. They weren’t nearly as large as the angel’s, but Aziraphale could see the outline of Crowley’s nipples if she looked hard enough. She knew it would be a bad idea for her own sanity to invite the demon inside, but with how hard it was coming down out there, so knew that she would feel terrible sending her nemesis to walk home by herself. How could an angel of the Lord be anything other than hospitable? 

So they spent the evening breaking open yet another cask of the angel’s whiskey and kept themselves warm by the hearth. It was rare for the angel to sleep, but that night she and Crowley had nothing better to do and so she let herself pass out after intoxication had lost its fun for the evening. 

Which is why it came as a great surprise when she heard a loud knocking at her cottage door at the break of dawn. 

“Miss Ezra! Miss Ezra!” came the distinct shouts of one of the village’s messenger boys. “Miss Ezra!” 

Aziraphale did her best to reach the door without tripping over Crowley’s form splayed on her hearth before the boy could wake up the demon with his loud banging. 

“Yes, my boy? What do you need so early?” Aziraphale asked once she was able to wrench the damned door open. 

“Miss Ezra, Missus O’Connor sent me to find you. She said that Mister O’Connor won’t wake up!” 

“Oh dear! Thank you! Tell her I’ll be right over!” With that, she tossed the boy a copper piece and gathered up her small kit of medical supplies. “Crowley, wake up! It seems Mister O’Connor has fallen ill during the night!” 

And so the angel and demon quickly made their way to the old innkeeper’s home. But when they got there, it was clear that Mister O’Connor had passed away in his sleep. As much as she hated to admit it, there was just nothing the angel could do. So Aziraphale and Crowley helped comfort the grieving widow and the local priest had the body prepared for the funeral the next day. The ceremony was simple and dear Seamus O’Connor was put into the ground in his best suit. As the weather was still atrocious and damp, the small community did not stay long once the innkeeper was placed into the ground and the angel and demon were left together looking over the fresh grave. 

“What do you think was the cause of death?” the demon eventually piped up. 

“From what I can tell, it was a simple heart failure caused by his advanced age,” the angel responded quietly. “He was already cold by the time we got there.” 

“Well, can’t win them all, can ya?” responded the demon. “C’mon, angel. Let’s get out of this rain. No use…” 

But before she could finish her sentence, the area around them suddenly became a bit colder and darker. Looking around them in curiosity and dread, Aziraphale noticed that time had seemed to stop. The trees were no longer moving in the wind and the drizzle was no longer coming down. The angel and demon both turned around and standing right behind them was the dark, hooded figure of Death with his magnificent wings spread out. Beside him was the very naked, and young again, semi-translucent soul of the late Seamus O’Connor looking at his own grave. 

“Death?” questioned the angel, “What are you still doing here? Shouldn’t you have taken him off to Heaven by now?” 

“Heaven?!” cried Crowley from next to her, “Why the devil would he go to Heaven, Angel? It’s not like he did anything truly spectacular to earn his way there.” 

Aziraphale opened her mouth to answer indignantly, but before she could get a word out they both heard a polite throat clearing from the soul of the newly-deceased. 

“Actually,” replied Death, “we have a little situation here that needs your attention.” 

Aziraphale and Crowley turned briefly to each other and the angel could see that her friend was just as confused as she was. “What kind of situation? What do you mean?” 

Death simply pulled out a clipboard from his robes and responded, “You two have been cancelling each other out a little too well lately. The good and bad deeds this man committed during his life are equally balanced. As such, I cannot take him in his current state.” Death looked at them each in turn and Aziraphale could tell the exasperation Death was under for being unable to do his job. “Since the two of you are the ones put in charge of this village, I’m tasking you both with making the decision for this man’s eternal soul. It matters not to me whether this man goes to Heaven or Hell. But as you are the ones who created this problem, you shall be the ones to fix it! You have until sundown to make up your minds and I shall collect him then. If you haven’t reached a decision I shall be alerting Heaven and Hell about your performances and see you both reassigned.” 

Before either angel or demon could think of a response, Death transformed into a murder of crows and was gone. The ethereal and occult woman-shaped entities were left staring at the dead man with their mouths hanging open. 

“What bollocks!” exclaimed the demon. “It’s not our fault this guy never did anything spectacular with his life!” 

“Hey!” yelled the not-quite-departed man, “I led a pretty good life! Took care of my wife and family, didn’t I?” 

“Boring life is more like it,” Crowley retaliated. “You never had one single orgy? Never stolen from a cousin? Never killed anything? Give me something to work with here!” 

The man simply shrugged. “Afraid not.” 

“Or… what about…” Aziraphale tried to think about any good deeds that might tip the scale in Heaven’s favor “… Saved someone from drowning?” 

“Nope.” 

“… Brought a lost soul to God?” 

“Not that I’m aware of.” 

“… Stopped a runaway horse from crushing a baby?” 

“Can’t say that I have. Sorry.” 

The demon threw back her head and growled to the sky above. “C’mon! You never did anything extraordinary in your life?” 

“I s’pose not,” replied Seamus with a shrug, “Sorry to disappoint you ladies. It’s been a rather quiet life with Eimear. Had a few kids and watched them grow up. Then it was just taking care of the inn. You both saw how few customers we had over the past few years. I have to say, though, I always knew there was something odd about you ladies. Angel and demon, huh?” 

“Well, yes,” responded Aziraphale, “Terribly sorry I wasn’t there in time to prevent your death.” 

“Nah… don’t worry about it, lass. As long as Eimear is taken care of I don’t mind being dead. But I would appreciate it if you could make up your minds soon. It’s rather cold out here, innit?” 

Yet for the next few hours, the angel and demon were no closer to figuring out which side would be the one to claim this man’s soul. They went through every deed he’d performed in his life and nothing labeled this man as inherently good or inherently evil. 

“See, Angel? If you had just agreed to my idea about an arrangement, we could have kept out of each other’s hair and only one of us would have been here to influence things. I could have done both of our assignments.” 

Aziraphale didn’t want to admit the demon did kind of have a point. “Yes, but with one of us doing both miracles and temptations it wouldn’t matter. Both assignments would have had to get done and balance each other out anyway.” 

Crowley threw up her arms in exasperation. “So what do you propose, Angel? You heard Death! If we don’t figure this out, we’ll be sent back to our head offices with our tails between our legs! Just let Hell take him… “ 

“And let this poor man be tortured for all eternity? This is Mister O’Connor’s eternal soul we’re talking about, dear! None of his actions have dictated that he belongs in Hell!” 

“They haven’t dictated that he belongs in Heaven, either…” the demon trailed off lost in thought as she looked over Mister O’Connor’s soul. Aziraphale waited patiently, watching the demon think. She couldn’t come up with a single idea of how to tip the scales. But she couldn’t just let this man rot in Hell when he hadn’t done anything wrong. It would be unjust! 

“Ladies, could ye please hurry up? I’m freezing my bits off out here! You wouldn’t think you’d be able to feel the cold when you’re dead.” “Oh shut it! You’ll be going to someplace extra warm soon enough!” snapped Crowley. 

Aziraphale clicked her tongue at Crowley’s outburst but the demon didn’t seem to notice. Aziraphale’s thoughts trailed off as she started pacing back and forth in agitation. She had no idea what to do. There was no one in Heaven that she trusted bringing this conundrum to, and she certainly couldn’t bring this up to any humans in Mister O’Connor’s life. Moreover, harsh rain they’d experienced the past few days made the moors extra damp and the coldness was uncomfortable and distracting. She kept finding her thoughts trailing back to Crowley and how stunning she looked in the mist. Her dress was growing damp again with how long they had been standing out here and she could clearly see the demon’s nipples starting to poke through again. Despite her best efforts to keep focused on the task at hand, the demon’s beauty kept distracting her. Her eyes followed a trail of water as it flowed from the demon’s hair, down her long neck, and over her clavicle to disappear into her cleavage. The angel was very grateful for this form, because if she had made any other Effort, she wasn’t sure she would have been able to hide her interest in the demon much longer. She was having enough of a problem with picturing what it would be like to trace that line of rain from the demon’s skin. 

“Aha! I got it!” exclaimed the demon, shocking Aziraphale from her sinful thoughts. Her face flushed lightly, but she gave the demon her full attention. “You said you’d never participated in orgies or anything sexually exciting, yeah?” She pointed her finger at the human and Aziraphale wondered where she was going with this. They’d already established that the man hadn’t done any lustful sins in his life. 

“That’s right…” said Seamus. 

“Would you like to?” 

“CROWLEY!” 

“It’s alright, Angel. Hear me out. I propose a wager. Really no different than the ones we’ve been doing to keep ourselves occupied these past few years. If I win, his soul goes to Hell and that’s another one to add to my list of accomplishments down there. And of course if you win, you get to snag his soul for the wankers upstairs.” 

“What kind of wager? And what does this have to do with his sexual experience?” Aziraphale asked, pointing at Seamus. Something just wasn’t clicking, but she could see that the demon and human had already reached an understanding. 

Crowley rolled her eyes with a slight grin. “A _sex_ wager, Angel! The first to bring Seamus to completion… that means to orgasm, Angel… gets to secure his soul for their side.” 

“What? Absolutely not!” cried Aziraphale. 

“Why not?” 

“That’s incredibly inappropriate!” 

“Do you have a better idea?” asked the demon, crossing her arms under her breasts. Aziraphale tried her hardest to not be distracted by how the gesture pushed the breasts higher. 

“Well, why couldn’t it be some other wager? A-a-a… game or something?” 

“Angel, we’ve gone through every game we could ever think of while we’ve been bored in this God-forsaken village! Besides, Seamus here is a good-looking chap. And it’ll give him something fun to say he’s done before he’s sent off to his eternal rest or torment.” 

“I’m all for this,” stated the human, “Unless, of course, you’d rather your superiors learn of how you’ve been cancelling each other out. It sounds to me like nothing’s really been getting done around here.” 

Aziraphale sighed in exasperation. It would do her no good if Gabriel or Michael found out about this fiasco. “Alright, fine. This shouldn’t be too difficult. It’s not the first time I’ve had to have sex with a human for an assignment, after all!” 

“What?!” exclaimed Crowley. “ _When?_ ” The demon’s jaw was hanging open and it gave Aziraphale a little thrill that she could surprise the demon after all these centuries on Earth. 

“Well, it’s not like you were the only one to frequent those Roman parties, my dear! Now, since you were the one to come up with the wager, I declare that I shall get to go first!” After all, the sooner they got this over with, the sooner they could all get out of this damp graveyard.

Crowley simply extended her arms out towards the human as if to say “by all means!” and Aziraphale rolled her eyes. Really, how hard could it be to make a man come? Sex was one of the easiest sins for humans to make. They did it all the time. 

So Aziraphale tried her hardest to not be self-conscious as she stripped off her wool dress and snapped her fingers to make the ground as dry as possible. If they were going to do this, she wasn’t going to do it while being damp and uncomfortable. She ignored Crowley’s eyes on her and let her wings unfurl to show off their splendor. Then she marched over to the human and pulled him in for a kiss. 

As far as kisses go, it wasn’t the sweetest but it certainly wasn’t the worst the angel had ever experienced. There was no romance about it. It was simply a means to an end. Get the human hard so this silly bet could be over with soon. 

Sure enough, it didn’t take long for the man’s penis to engorge and Aziraphale trailed her hands down Seamus’s body until she could feel it in her hand. The angel wrapped her fingers around it and pumped a few times before landing softly on her knees and taking his member into her mouth. She swirled her tongue around the tip a few times before sinking down around the shaft. She knew the demon was watching, but Aziraphale did her best to close her eyes and focus on the job at hand… or mouth. Seamus made encouraging noises, but despite her best efforts the man wouldn’t finish. Eventually she got bored of being on her knees and let go of Seamus’s penis to lie back on the ground and spread her legs. She chanced a glance over at Crowley to find that during the fellatio, the demon had taken it upon herself to get ready for her turn. Her dress was off and folded along with Aziraphale’s and she had let her own raven wings extend out. The angel was surprised to find that Crowley was touching herself while watching the pair intently. She wasn’t sure where Crowley had put her glasses, but the demon’s eyes were focused on Aziraphale’s body as the fingers of her right hand were caressing her breast and the left slithered down to her mound to play with her clit. Despite her lack of interest in this average human, Aziraphale found herself growing ever wetter watching the demon pleasure herself. Pleasure herself while looking at her. 

A throat cleared above her and Aziraphale brought her attention back to the human. “Are ye ready, lass?” he asked kindly. 

“Yes. Go ahead.” 

Seamus entered Aziraphale slowly and carefully until he was fully seated inside. He drew out slowly and pushed back in, his face concentrating on his task. But Aziraphale found herself looking at the demon over the human’s shoulder. Yellow serpent eyes were intently focused on her own and it made her impossibly wetter. How many nights had she drifted off in her reading, picturing Crowley looking at her just like that? It was purely sinful. And Aziraphale couldn’t get enough. As Seamus picked up the pace with his thrusts, Aziraphale’s hands found her way to her breasts while picturing it was Crowley’s long dexterous fingers instead. It didn’t take long before her fantasy got the better of her and Aziraphale came with a cry. 

Yet as she came down from her orgasm, she found that the human was still very much hard. 

“Oh bugger.” 

“Well, I guess that means it’s my turn, Angel,” Crowley smirked at her. 

“Yes, well let’s see if you can do any better!” 

“With pleasure. Sin is my domain, after all.” 

Aziraphale moved aside to let Crowley take her place and the demon pushed the human on the ground instead. As Aziraphale had done before, Crowley took the man’s penis into her mouth and began to blow him. However, Aziraphale noticed that Crowley’s tongue wasn’t exactly human. Like the snake that she sometimes took the form of, Crowley’s tongue was forked. She swirled it around and around the tip and Aziraphale couldn’t help but wonder how that demonic tongue would feel against her own flesh. How would it feel against her nipples? Or her clitoris? Eventually Crowley got up and reversed her position so that her own sex was positioned above the man’s face. Crowley winked at Aziraphale before taking Mister O’Connor’s phallus back into her mouth. From the sounds Seamus was making, he was indeed enjoying himself and it seemed that Crowley was as well. She moved her hips in time with her head bobs and her moans indicated that Seamus knew just what to do with his own mouth. But every so often, Crowley’s yellow eyes would open and stare right at Aziraphale. It was simply intoxicating to watch and Aziraphale found herself to be not quite as sated as she had first believed. 

Eventually Crowley stopped and got up to position herself above the human and sank down onto his penis. But rather than facing Seamus, she kept herself facing Aziraphale with a devilish smirk that Aziraphale wasn’t sure she wanted to smack or kiss off. 

Then Crowley started to move. 

Oh it was delightfully sinful. There was simply no other way to describe how Crowley’s hips moved. The swagger that moved her perky bottom from side to side when she walked made her movements so fluid. Crowley leaned slightly back and closed her eyes as she took her pleasure from the human beneath her. Seamus’s hands had moved their way to the demon’s hips, but it was clear that she didn’t need his help. Aziraphale found herself moving closer until she was kneeling next to them and her eyes couldn’t move away from the look of ecstasy on Crowley’s face. Her long flaming hair was flowing down her back and her wings were spread out to the sides, quivering with each pleasurable thrust. Her breasts were damp with either sweat or mist and before Aziraphale could stop herself, her hand extended out to feel the roundness for herself. 

The demon gasped and her blazing eyes flew open to look at Aziraphale. 

Heat was flaring in the angel’s sex once again. “Is… is this okay?” 

“Kiss me, Angel,” was all the demon said and it was like a dam broke inside of Aziraphale. She surged forward and captured the demon’s lips with her own. One of them let out a needy whine, but Aziraphale wouldn’t be able to say whom. It didn’t matter. Her hand found its way into those long, red curls and the angel and demon became even closer. Soon the demon tipped her head back in ecstasy and she finally slowed. It was the most beautiful thing Aziraphale had ever seen. She brought Crowley’s mouth back to her own and Aziraphale felt long fingers against her waist, making her groan in pleasure. This was so much better than any kiss she’d experienced with a human- especially with dear Seamus. The demon’s tongue was twisting along her own in ways that she’d never had expected. 

Before she knew it, the angel found herself on her back again. Only this time, it was her dear best friend above her and that made it so much better. “What…” she cleared her throat, “… what else can you do with that tongue, my dear?” she whispered. 

Crowley smiled down at her before responding, “You mean this?” and kissing her way down the angel’s neck. She alternated between licks, nips, and sucks, and Aziraphale thought she would lose her mind in the feeling. Crowley made her way down to Aziraphale’s breasts before looking up at her and taking a nipple into her mouth. Aziraphale’s back arched and she screamed. Sex had never felt like this before! That skillful tongue swirled around and around her nipple just as she had seen it do to Seamus’s dick. The demon alternated between light swirls and gentle sucks before switching to the other one. One hand lightly pinched the first nipple and the other slowly made its way down to the angel’s mound. As if asking permission, one finger extended between her folds and Aziraphale eagerly parted her legs further. She lifted her head slightly so she could see clearly what her demon was doing. The demon’s eyes met hers once again as her middle finger found the angel’s clit. 

The angel panted as she watched, “More… please.” 

The demon moaned around the nipple in her mouth and she gathered the wetness from the angel’s hole before moving her finger around her clit, matching the movements with her sinful tongue. The angel tossed her head back with a deep moan and the next thing she knew, the demon had moved her way further down her body to place her mouth where her fingers had just been. The finger that had teased her clit before was now deep inside her, moving in and out faster and faster. That tongue was doing things to her clit that the angel was sure no human would be able to replicate. 

“Oh my dear! Yes, yes, yes! Just like that!” 

Aziraphale dug her hands into those long tresses once again and she couldn’t keep from rolling her hips against the demon’s face. It wasn’t too much longer before her orgasm ripped through her and the angel screamed her pleasure to the heavens. When she opened her eyes, it was to find the demon staring down at her with a satisfied smile. “You have no idea how long I’d wanted to do that,” said Crowley.

Aziraphale’s only response was to pull the demon down for another kiss. This one much slower and sweeter than any of the others. “I adore you, Crowley. Do you know that?” 

“I think I’m getting an idea, yeah,” responded the demon with a sweet smile before bending down to kiss the angel again. 

Before Aziraphale could have her turn pleasuring the demon, however, the reality of their situation came back to her. “Oh dear! Crowley! Where’s Seamus’s soul?” 

Looking around the moor, the soul was nowhere to be found. Both Aziraphale and Crowley were a bit embarrassed to have forgotten their task so easily. But Aziraphale couldn’t be bothered to regret it. It was what she had wanted for so very long, after all. So they got dressed again and made their way back to the village to look for Seamus O’Connor. 

Sure enough, they found the human back at his home. What they weren’t expecting while looking through his window, however, was to find dear Seamus in the throws of passion with his widow. They were in a position that even Aziraphale and Crowley had never seen before. “I didn’t know you could do that!” exclaimed Aziraphale. 

“Huh… neither did I,” responded the demon, sounding rather impressed, “We had our fun. I suppose it’s only fair to let them have theirs before Death comes for him.” 

“I suppose you’re right,” Aziraphale replied guiltily. 

The two humans were going at it like rabbits from the sounds of it. Moans, grunts, and even sometimes screams could be heard from inside while the angel and demon waited patiently for them to finish. By the time they had reached the spires of their carnal pleasure, it was just about sundown and they knew Death would be returning soon. So they made their way inside to find the human man and wife curled up together in the afterglow. 

“I must say, I haven’t felt this alive in years!” said Seamus in greeting, “I see ye finally found me.” 

Crowley rolled her eyes, “Yeah, you had your fun. Now it’s time to go, human.” 

“Now wait just a minute,” responded the innkeeper, grinning up at them, “I believe you said that whoever made me come could keep me. I heard you.” 

“Well, yes, but…” Crowley tried to rebuttle. 

“But nothing!” responded the human, “You see, you were both great to lie with, don’t get me wrong. But neither of you were my beautiful Eimear here. Never in my life have I found a beauty as divine as hers, even from Heaven and Hell. She has fulfilled all the conditions of your arrangement.” 

“Is this true?” came a deep voice from behind them. Aziraphale and Crowley turned to see Death standing in the doorway to the bedroom, “Did you wager this man’s soul with sex?” 

Aziraphale’s face flamed and she tried to hide it in the palms of her hands. “Yes…” she mumbled. 

“Now, I’m pretty sure that Heaven and Hell would not take kindly to their agents fraternizing with each other. If you send me to either place rather than leaving me here with Eimear, I would have no qualms about informing your superiors about what happened here.” 

“Oh my!” exclaimed the angel. 

“Whooeee!” expressed the demon in defeat before turning to Death. “Look, you can’t really blame us for this! He tricked us! We had every intention of finishing him off but he ran off to his wife before we could!” 

Aziraphale couldn’t be sure, since Death could not show human expression, but she had a feeling that Death found this whole thing rather humorous. 

“Very well,” he finally said, “You may stay with your wife until the day she dies. Once she does, I will be taking you together.” 

“And what about us?” the angel asked quietly, “Are you really going to report us to our superiors?” She was absolutely mortified at the idea of Heaven finding out. Who knows when she’d be allowed to return to Earth? She’d probably be stuck doing deskwork for the next few centuries at least. 

“Not today,” Death eventually responded. “The two of you are free to go. But a word of advice, if I may? Be more careful in the future. I won’t be telling Heaven or Hell about your relationship, but I do say that more caution is in order. Perhaps keep it behind closed doors.” 

“Yes, sir!” Crowley exclaimed before dragging a red-faced Aziraphale behind her. Soon she stopped again and turned to Aziraphale, dragging her close for a sweet kiss. “I do believe it’s my turn again, Angel,” whispered the demon with a wicked smile. And with a snap of her fingers, they were at Aziraphale’s cottage, ready for the next round. 


End file.
